At first, I was surprised to discover there were so many patents related to pillowcases. Then I was intrigued as to quite what was special about this one.

But then I was distracted by the wonder of the pillowcase which, according to the legally lodged and therefore official and always correct documentation, “may have a width and a length”.

Only “may”.

Not “shall”.

So it may also have no width or length.

Not clear if a height is mandatory or banned.

Either way, that’s some pillow.

Existential quite possibly.

Or perhaps a manifestation of string theory?

Just in case it holds some quantum trickery, I’m not going to be putting my head down on one of those pillows anytime soon.