Ed Miliband: Labour took my mobile phone away

What a bad year it is to be a political satirist. First there was the problem of the minister who met the Prime Minister, intending to resign – yet somehow the conversation ended without the PM noticing that a resignation was on offer. Hard for a satirist to top that.

And now we have the bizarre case of the Labour Party confiscating its own party leader’s mobile phone, as reported by Sky:

The Labour leader disclosed earlier this month that he had been secretly wooing the Liberal Democrat Business Secretary with text messages.

His admission infuriated Labour left-wingers and veterans Dennis Skinner and Ken Livingstone protested angrily at a meeting of the party’s national executive committee on Tuesday.

But according to one member of the party’s ruling body, the Labour leader stunned NEC members by responding: “They’ve taken my phone away.”

One NEC member told Sky News: “They’ve changed his mobile phone. He now has a different phone with a different number. Someone else now has his number. When I tried to text Ed, someone else replied.”

You can just imagine the Labour message at the next election: Trust Miliband to run the country! (But don’t trust him with a phone.)

But I’m off to write notes of condolence to political satirists. Sorry folks; reality has stuffed you good and proper.