Urgent: more shoelace training required

The Daily Telegraph reports:

Two-thirds of British children aged 5-13 can operate a DVD player, but fewer than half can tie their shoelaces.

I fear the full story is even worse, for it’s not just a question of whether they can tie their shoelaces, it’s also a question of whether they can do it the right, proper and only correct way:

Although perhaps technology will come to our rescue.