How to bluff your way in football conversations, part 1

Unimpressed with football? Dreading having to make polite small talk during the next couple of weeks whilst colleagues at work excitedly discuss obscure Danes, who should be in the hole and why they are more knowledgeable than the ref / England manager / FA (delete to taste)?

Never fear, just slip this into the conversation and sound like the football fanatic you are not:

Of course, commentary mistakes these days are nothing like the good old days. Remember the 2006 World Cup when the BBC told us that England’s problem against Norway was that they weren’t making enough shops? You just don’t get that sort of mistake these days.